The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the sweetest

face for the opening scene of the play. "Now, all you have to do is, when

I direct the choir to sing '...and the angel lit the candle', you come on

stage and light all the candles."

"I can do it - I can do it!" the little boy said, excited to be the one

picked.

Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The choir

was in grand voice, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens of

unlit candles all around, awaiting the moment when the cute littlest

angel made his entrance.

The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and the

choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an expectant

"...and the angel lit the candle," and everyone looked stage right for

the entrance.

No little boy.

The director gave the downbeat again, and gestured for a louder line,

which the choir gave him - "...and the angel lit the candle," and

again,all eyes looked stage right.

No little boy.

The director, beginning to sweat, motioned with great, sweeping

gestures, and the choir thundered into the line - the curtains belled

slightly from the sound -

"...AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE!"

And into the silence which followed came a clear, boy-soprano voice

floating piercingly from stage right,

"...and the cat peed on the matches!"

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things

around the house that he used to do. When the examination was

complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English

what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my

wife."